Dirty Tactics in Divorce

Getting divorce is never a pleasant experience. Even when the decision is mutual, completing the paperwork and negotiating an agreeable settlement can take months or years of struggle, fighting, and hassle before both parties can get on with their own lives.

Unfortunately, most divorces are not mutual and that’s when those dirty tactics are most likely to stop popping up. If you’re a man getting ready for a divorce, you need to understand what these tactics are and how to protect yourself from them.

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Otherwise you’ll end up in the losing end of an already bad situation.

Sympathetic Judges

Although the court system is supposed to be blind to gender, anyone who has ever gone through a divorce knows there is still a tendency on the part of most judges to make decisions in favor of the woman. Of course, there are some judges who aren’t partial but those are the ones your wife’s lawyer is going to try to resist ending up in front of.

You’ve got to watch who is going to be hearing your case. If you end up in front of a judge who is going to melt when she hears a hardship story from your wife, you probably want to have your own lawyer working on getting the case heard elsewhere.

Bringing Up the Past

Wives have great memories when it comes to remembering everything we’ve ever done wrong in the relationship. If you’ve ever made a disparaging remark about your wife, flirted with a co-worker, or missed a family outing for work responsibilities then you can bet she will be bringing it up to her lawyer and to the judge to paint you as a horrible husband.

The best way to deal with these problems is to prepare for them. Think back about anything your wife might be able to use against you and share that information with your own lawyer.

Next you need to make your own list. Obviously, she’s been no angel during the entire marriage. If she brings up anything from the past, shoot back with your own.

Money & Custody

Decades ago, most courts automatically awarded custody of the children to the wife and forced the husband to pay exorbitant child support payments.

While things have improved slightly, most men are forced to pay large portions of their salaries to their ex-wives under the guise of child support. If your wife wants to hurt you financially, she will fight hard for sole custody of your children.

The best way to fight back is to work for joint custody with a 50/50 division of time spent with the children. When you share custody, the judge isn’t going to award your wife nearly as much child support.

You may still have to pay some money but that should be contingent on the percentage of time those children are not in your care. If you don’t agree with the judge, appeal the decision.

You may have to spend a little more in legal costs but that’s better than spending a fortune every week for the next 18 to 24 years.

For more effective strategies to overcome other dirty tactics in divorce, as well as learning how to effectively represent yourself, we suggest you take a look at Matt O'Connell's best selling guide, "No BS Divorce Strategies for Men."