Should I Divorce My Wife?
Your marriage isn’t working, you're not happy, and you want out, so you ask yourself, "Should I Divorce my wife?"
If you answer,"Yes", the next logical questions are "How much will a divorce cost?" and "How long will it take to become final?"
Both of those questions depend on several factors.
The first of the factors is for both of you to agree on the terms, including the grounds for divorce.
If you can do that you have what's called an, "uncontested divorce," and most of the time the reason listed on the paperwork is, "irreconcilable differences," the common term for no one did anything wrong, we just don’t want to be together anymore.
This is the fastest, cheapest, and least costly divorce.
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Now, going this route also requires agreement between the two of you on how your assets, as well as debts and other financial obligations such as taxes and mortgage, will be divided.
If you have children, custody and visitation need to be settled to both you and your wife’s satisfaction.
We won't kid you and say it'll be easy, it won't be, but the money you'll save more than makes up for the back and forth negotiations and hassles. Trust us, we've been there.
If you can get all these issues resolved, then get a “Friendly Divorce Handbook” from your state, where you will find instructions on how to get the required forms, how to fill them out, and then filing with the right court.
Your county website in will also have information on how to file an uncontested divorce.
Now, how long it takes to get a divorce depends on how smoothly the process goes. If everything goes well, your divorce should be final in six-months or less.
However, the time-frame depends on injunctions and the backlog in the court system.
Another alternative is online do-it-yourself divorces, which are offered through many websites. Typically you answer a series of questions and the online program fills out the forms appropriate to your given state.
Once you print the forms and have them notarized, you file them in court.
Some of these sites offer a legal review, which will cost you more money, but will give you the peace of mind that all forms have been filled out correctly and your interests are protected.
Generally, this service costs around $250, but includes a review by a paralegal. Before you go this route we strongly suggest you do your research to make sure you're using a legitimate service.
Remember, the do-it-yourself option is only a good idea if your divorce is uncontested. If you can’t come to an amiable agreement or your finances are complicated, the better choice is mediation.
In mediation, a neutral, third party listens to both sides, identifies unresolved issues and works with you to resolve these conflicts. Many divorce mediators are attorneys, so once an agreement is reached, it may be possible to directly file the necessary paperwork.
However, if you do go this route it’s smarter to have a lawyer who represents your interests—not your wife’s—review the agreement reached through mediation before anything is finalized.
Some people will do or say almost anything to avoid conflict and you don’t want something you agreed to at a mediation session in an uncomfortable moment coming back to haunt you for the rest of your life.
It will cost you more to have your own lawyer, but not as much if you agree to something you’ll regret. So when you ask yourself, Should I Divorce my wife?" take everything into consideration.
Now, for most men all of this is overwhelming since very few of us have any knowledge of divorce law or how the process really works.
What we need is someone who's gone through a divorce and put together a list of shortcuts to the critical parts of process before we contact a lawyer.
If you're one of those men, we suggest Matt O'Connell's best selling guide, "No BS Divorce Strategies for Men." as your starting point.