Going through a divorce can be a very painful experience. Even if you are the one who instigated the proceedings it is still not an easy thing to get through.

Divorce mediation can help both parties negotiate an agreement which is acceptable with a lot less stress than would normally be associated with divorce settlements.

It must be remembered that divorce mediators are not there to save the marriage. They are not going to try to get you back together. A divorce mediator is a neutral third party who will help you put the past behind you and aid in negotiating a fair settlement so you can both get on with your lives.

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The mediator is not an arbitrator. A mediator cannot make the decisions for you, that is up to both of you. The mediator is just there to help control the situation and understands that in most cases emotions are raw.

Using a divorce mediator can often save you a lot of time and money. Working through your lawyers is time consuming and as well you know, frightfully expensive. Sitting down with a mediator, working out your settlement definitely has many advantages.

First, a mediator will want to gather as much background information as possible about the situation and ascertain any likely problems. Then both parties should give the mediator all financial information such as; Superannuation, real estate owned both in joint names and single names, retirement funds, investments, car, boats, etc. also any outstanding debts such as mortgages, loans, credit cards and so on. This can be done together or separately.

With this stage completed the mediator will need to know about placement for children, visitation for non custodial parent, alimony and child support. Also about the division of property like who gets the family home, who gets the holiday cottage, the division of other debits and the income of each party.

When all the information is on the table the mediator will help the parties negotiate an agreement. At this stage it is likely to be tradeoffs such as “you can have the boat but I want the Merc”.

Often these scenarios are not acceptable so are changed and negotiated until an agreement has been reached that suits both. The mediator, while not making decisions for the parties can often give them ideas as to how to balance things out and come to a compromise.

Once both parties are satisfied and preliminary agreement is drawn up for your lawyer to look over and once all revisions have been made to the satisfaction of both parties then a formal agreement is signed and is binding. Your lawyer will be able to advise you on the laws of each state regarding these documents.

Using a divorce mediator can turn what started out as a nasty bitter divorce into a much smoother more amicable parting and in turn make it easier not only for the two people concerned but for any children involved to move forward.

For More Information

For a complete, survival guide to all aspects of divorce, including how to effectively represent yourself, we suggest you take a look at Matt O'Connell's best selling guide, "No BS Divorce Strategies for Men."

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