Should I Divorce My Wife?
Your marriage isn’t working, you are not happy, and you want out, and you ask yourself, "Should I Divorce my wife?" You wonder how much it's going to cost, and how long it takes to become final, depends on several factors.
A do-it-yourself divorce from your wife is possible if you both agree on the terms, including the grounds for divorce. It's called an, "uncontested divorce," and the reason listed on the paperwork is often, "irreconcilable differences," which is the common term for "no one did anything wrong, we just don’t want to be together anymore."
Conducting a divorce yourself requires agreement on how assets, as well as debts and other financial obligations such as taxes and mortgages, will be divided. If children are involved, custody and visitation also has to be settled to both you and your wife’s satisfaction.
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If all these issues have been resolved, you can obtain a “Friendly Divorce Handbook” from your state, where you will find instructions on getting the required forms, filling them out, and filing them with the right court.
Your county website in can also provide information on how to file an uncontested divorce. How long it takes to get a divorce will depend on how smoothly the process goes. If everything goes effortlessly, your divorce could be granted in six-months or less.
However, the time-frame is dependent upon the state's injunctions and how busy the court system is.
Online do-it-yourself divorces are offered through many websites. For most, you answer a series of questions, and the online program fills out the forms that are appropriate to your state. Once you print the forms and have them notarized, you file them in court.
Some websites even offer a legal review, which will cost you more, but will give you the peace of mind that all the forms have been filled out correctly and your interests are protected. Generally, this service costs around $250, but includes a review by a paralegal.
Do your research, and ensure that you are using a legitimate service.
Remember that the do-it-yourself options are only a good idea if your divorce is uncontested. If you can’t come to an amiable agreement (there are grounds for divorce such as adultery or a drug/alcohol problem), or your finances are complicated, the best choice is mediation.
In mediation, a neutral, third party listens to both sides, identifies issues that have not been resolved, and works with you to resolve the conflicts. Many divorce mediators are attorneys, so once an agreement is reached, it may be possible to file the necessary paperwork directly.
However, it’s smarter to have an attorney who represents your interests only—not your wife’s—review the agreement reached through mediation before anything is finalized.
Some people will do or say almost anything to avoid conflict, and you don’t want something you agreed to at a mediation session to get past an uncomfortable moment coming back to haunt you for the rest of your life.
It will cost you more to have your own lawyer, but not as much as it will if you agree to something you’ll someday regret. So when you ask yourself, Should I Divorce my wife?" take everything into consideration.
If you're considering divorcing your wife and would like a complete guide to all aspects of divorce, we suggest you take a look at Matt O'Connell's best selling guide, "No BS Divorce Strategies for Men."