Are you looking for great divorce tips? How you divorce will determine the rest of your life.
First, Don’t turn your divorce into a lawsuit. When going through the divorce process, you have two options: Settle outside of court or go into court and let the judge decide. You are not required to hire a lawyer and go to court. In fact, court should be considered an option of last resort. If let the judge decide your case, you lose all control and have to live with whatever the judge decides...and you may not like the result. You’ll almost always be happier with an out of court settlement. Do everything you can to avoid court. Don’t let you divorce devolve into a lawsuit. Think negotiated fair settlement, not a court imposed mandate.
Second divorce tip: Get through your divorce quickly. For many people, especially those using attorneys, their divorce can drag on for months. Don’t let this happen to you. The decision to divorce should be slow and methodical, but once divorce is inevitable, you should try to settle your divorce in about a week or two. I’ve been guiding people through the divorce process for more than ten years and I’ve never seen a divorce yet that couldn’t be settled in about a week. Divorce is nothing but a process. And just like any other process, there is a right way and a wrong way execute the process. Divorces that drag on for months are expensive and stressful. Avoid all the stress and wasteful legal fees by settling your divorce quickly.
Third divorce tip: If you have kids, put your kids first. As emotions heat up in a divorce, it’s easy for parents to put their own interests ahead of the best interests of the children. This is especially true if the parents are embroiled in a custody battle. Decades of studies have proven without a doubt that kids perform better when they have two involved parents. Unless one parent is a danger to the children, parents should consider a joint custody arrangement. No child has ever asked for a divorce. As you discuss parenting plans and custody arrangements, keep the long term needs of the children your top priority.
Fourth divorce tip: Understand the role and limitations of your lawyer. Often people think that their lawyer will handle everything. In reality, your lawyer can’t do everything for you, you’ll still be very much involved in the details of your divorce. Remember that Nobody cares about your case as much as you do. You’ll be present and engaged at every court hearing and settlement negotiation. You’ll have to provide every detail about your case to your attorney. The primary role of any attorney is file paperwork and present your information to the judge should your case go to court. Many people use their attorney as a therapist. Your lawyer is not your therapist. Don’t treat them like one. If you want a shoulder to cry on, you’ll get much better results hiring an actual therapist. People in contested divorces often treat their attorney like the divorce complaint hotline. I’ve seen people call their attorney and begin every conversation with a 20 minute rant about how unfair the divorce system is. At $400/hr, this can add up to thousands 1) Your lawyer is very much aware at how unfair the system is 2) Your lawyer can’t change the laws in your state. If you want to complain about the divorce laws in your state, call your state legislature representative. They’re the ones that actually make the laws.
Which brings us to Divorce tip #5: Learn to use your lawyer efficiently. Lawyers have every specific roles. Learn to use your lawyer to file paperwork and sit beside you at court appearances. Learn to handle all other aspects of your divorce yourself.
Divorce Tip #6: Avoid hiring a lawyer in the first place unless you absolutely need one. Nobody understands the details of your case or cares about your case more than you. Most people will get a much better result reaching a negotiated settlement out of court. Most of the forms you need to file with the court can be found on-line with easy to understand instructions. More people than ever these days are forgoing the lawyer and taking matters into their own hands with the help of online resources. The internet has changed everything.
These are just a few divorce tips that can help you have a faster, cheaper, easier divorce with less stress and a better result.
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